I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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