I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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