READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
