and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Green mimosas i think yes
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
