brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
