She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Never underestimate the power of titties
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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