just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
