it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize