what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
