he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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