Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
