Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
