So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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