FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
