apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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