Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
