therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
