We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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