how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic