Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?