Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops