I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
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I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just want to make out with him forever
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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