im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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