If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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