Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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