You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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