One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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