My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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