While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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