i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I cannot find my penis.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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