I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
