Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
