i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
