My room smells like vodka and shame
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
