i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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