You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
