Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
