well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
did you just send me my own nude
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
