Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
