Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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