Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize