bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize