Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize