No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
