dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
