I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
