North Korea, Best Korea!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
