dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
