How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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