Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
