WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I love you.
Bad choice
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
