Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
