happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
