Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize