he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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