First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
