We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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