After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
