btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And then he peed in my hair
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
