hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
