my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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