My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
