I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
