He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
