But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
