You're my little dorito
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
