my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
