So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
