she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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