I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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